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Dear lady of large size dressed in an interesting manner,
As I write this, your wide body is perusing the aisle between pet care and hair products. At this point, I am thinking the pet care products may be for you, and the hair care is for your critter.
Sorry, that was harsh.
As you bend over and expose 4 feet of butt crack (and I quickly avert my eyes to prevent being turned to stone) I make a mental note that, when I cross “get a tattoo” off my Bucket List, I will be sure and not to get one directly above my ass crack. There’s something about zits and hairy freckles that detract from the artistry of a tattoo. Especially on an three-foot-across canvas.
Even though I too am a WOS (Women Of Size ) and am currently in a 2X, I still do not wear clothes that scream “Pushing Maximum Capacity!!” I feel like I should quickly find an item to fashion into a shield. Cuz, if the top button on your shorty-shorts blows…it’s gonna put someones eyes out.
A big part of me is extremely envious as to how comfortable you are with your body and in your own skin. A bigger part of of me wants to high-tail it to the Bed and Bath section to find a lovely fitted sheet to cover you with.
Oh yeah, and thanks for wearing a tank with no bra. Helga and Olga may want to give the world a peek, but as a Mom I really don’t want to deal with endless questions from my rugats as to “What are those two big knobs on the front of that ladies shirt?” or “Look Mom, her high-beams are on.”
Oh yeah, it was hubby that said that last one.
Did you not know it was cold inside this store? That your frontal orbs would blossom into the size on Bing Cherries? Or were you just wanting an alternative place to hang your car keys?
Hence the fitted sheet idea keeps sounding better and may JUST be the final accessory you need.
We will have to make sure it doesn’t get tangled up in the hoop earring you could jump a Labrador Retriever through or the Necklace that looks like you borrowed from Mr T.
It’s all good. We will make it work for you.
P.S if you don’t mind letting me know where you got the shorty-shorts from, I’d appreciate it. Actually, hubby would appreciate it. Thanks.