humor

Confessions of a Word Bender on A Very Windy Subject

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I love words. I love what you can do with words. Blog, write, curse..hey, the list goes on forever.

I like making up oddball variations of words. Kind of a Secret Lingo of Becky so-to-speak. Keeps people guessing. Or so I like to think. Now that I say that, I wonder if people are guessing, or contemplating calling 911.

Some words I am more obsessed with that usual.

Take “barf” for instance. I’m the mother of two so barf is a big part of our lives April-November (cold-n-flu season). I’ve had more unscheduled bonding time with Barf then I care to admit. Even the word itself is amusing… BARF…

I also like to “fun it up” by using alternative words like “yak” or “hurl”, or “blow chunks.” I can even take to the next level in the headlong rush to the bathroom. “Talk to the porcelain Gods” or “go visit RRRAAAAAALLPPPHHH!” is another fav.

Cuz I am classy like that.



Go on, you say? OH, I’d LOVE too. Not all words I like to bend are toilet related, but what the hell. Since we’re on the subject, let’s talk GAS.

When the kids were little we practiced our “daycare language” and called it “fluff.” Anyone who knows the Kingdom of TIRED inhabitants knows we are more like “ba-WHOOSH” than “fluff”.

I digress.

Now in the kid’s later years, we’ve graduated tofart“, “who crapped their pants?” and the nursery-rhyme-ish “barking spider.” Immature, you say? Fricken-a-right. That’s why we laugh allot in our house.

Of course there are times where said “gas” evolves into “greater things” and one must be directed to the Designated Relieving Area. But even then I manage to go all cave woman. “Need to go potty”…not in our house. Just to keep things lite and fun I’ve been known to announce I need to “go pound out a grumpy” or “release a grizzly and her cubs.”

Gagging yet? Yes? COOL.

Good thing I’m married. After this post, I’m not sure who else would want me 🙂

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