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{Guest post by Adrianne Babbitt–Author of The Miscarriage Project and Founder of Bold & Beautiful Inspirations Co.}
Note from Becky: Anyone who knows my life journey knows that my two kids are hard-fought and hard-won. I am no stranger to the trauma and sadness that comes along with miscarriage. That’s why I was so honored when Adrianne agreed to share her heart and soul with me and my readers in this blog post. Enjoy.
I never thought it would happen to me. My mom and sisters never miscarried, so why should I? But I did and it changed my life forever.
My husband and I had just announced to our families that we were pregnant again. We had no idea what was about to happen.
The next week, I cramped all week and then bled for two days. I got an ultrasound, but there was no heartbeat or a definitive answer from the doctor.
In May 2016, the day after Mother’s Day, I woke up, in the middle of the night, and my baby was gone. In short, I was devastated and in shock.
Timothy Lyle Babbitt
May 9, 2016
(9 wks. 6 days Gestation)
Why did this happen to me? How could God do this to me? Why did my son die, when I’ve already had two, healthy children?
My list of questions, demands, and screams went on for months. Even as a Christian, I felt God had broken His promises to me, to protect me, to act for my good, etc. I fell into a deep depression.
Despite my devastated heart, I felt God calling me to write about my miscarriage. I began the blog, “The Child I Never Held,” documenting my miscarriage and my grief journey.
In the process, God changed my heart. Women from all over the world would read my blog. Women I knew and complete strangers would share about their losses. The many losses overwhelmed my heart and soul.
Finally, I realized this wasn’t about me – this was about them. If I could help wounded women with my story, it would be worth it. Eventually, sharing my story helped alleviate some of the depression and I learned to function in the midst of my pain.
Admittedly, this change did not happen overnight. But God was there for me. God put outstanding women in my path to listen and love on me. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.
From all of this, I learned seven important truths (included in my book, The Miscarriage Project: Testimonials of Parents Who Found Hope in God):
Whether you’ve had a miscarriage, stillbirth, lost an infant, gave up a child for adoption, or even aborted a baby – there’s grace for you here.
- It’s not your fault! – If you would have done anything in your power to prevent it, with the full knowledge of what was going on, you would’ve done it.
- You’re still an amazing Mom/Dad! – Losing a child is not a failure and does not lessen your value as a parent at all!
- Though God is in control, He did not create death. – God is still a loving God who loves your baby more than you do and hasn’t forsaken you or your baby.
- Though it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt, God still has a plan. – I could empathize with others who’ve miscarried and helped me see the true value of a child – that not all are blessed with and not all get to keep.
- Don’t let the fear of losing another child keep you from trying to have more children. – Don’t let the enemy steal your joy and steal life from your family.
- You are not alone in your loss or grief.
- Killing or harming yourself will not fix anything or ease the pain. Only God can comfort and heal your heart completely. – I’m thankful I got help and didn’t stay silent.
In my heart of hearts, I hope this is encouraging and helpful to at least one mom or dad out there, struggling with the grief of a precious little one. You are not alone, and the pain will lessen, but you never forget them. Please know you are loved, you are prayed for and you will heal.
Adrianne’s interview on CBN NEWS. Dec. 8, 2020 episode (between the 3 and 7 min. mark)
In Christ’s Love,
Adrianne Babbitt
Timothy’s Mom
Author of The Miscarriage Project
Founder of Bold & Beautiful Inspirations Co.
Blog: thehavenblogger.com
Author Bio.
Adrianne Babbitt, besides releasing her debut book, The Miscarriage Project, also runs her own Christian lifestyle blog, entitled The Haven. She regularly writes about the Bible, her faith, and living BOLD (Beautiful-Overcomer-Loved-Designed). She attended Moody Bible Institute, studying Children’s Ministry, and graduated with a B.S. in Biblical Studies. She has served in youth ministry with her husband for over 10 years. They’ve been married for eight years and have six children. Originally from Boone, Iowa, but currently lives in Bloomer, Wisconsin. Babbitt loves to write, sing, play various instruments, be active outdoors, be crafty, and spend time with family. She is currently working on several new books. These include two children’s books, My Brother in Heaven and the other titled The Princess Who Changed the World. Babbitt is finishing YA novel titled, The Haven Diaries Series #1: Dating, Purity and the Unknown.
