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An email popped into my inbox the other day from Moon Lists. Moon Lists is a delightful writing and journaling prompt newsletter that consistently offers great ideas.
One of the prompts was called French Exit: What’s been your most elegant way of saying no lately?
Intrigued, I Googled “French Exit” and discovered that it’s a slang term referring to leaving a social gathering or a bad date without saying goodbye. It is similar to other terms such as ghosting.
In the world of business, I do not recommend ghosting anyone (unless they are a spammer or scammer – those folks can go pound sand). Still, there are some elegant ways to decline a request, suggestion, or an invitation to an opportunity that doesn’t align with our goals and vision.
“No” is the magical word you can utter when an overly demanding client or employer asks for you assistance on a project (on the weekend), your PTA pressures you to bake 19 dozen muffins for the bake sale or well-meaning family member asks if you can babysit “just for a little while” (like 8 hours).
Let’s be real: saying “no” can feel really uncomfortable. Whether it’s turning down a project, declining a social invite, or protecting your time from endless meetings, a simple “no” often comes wrapped in guilt, second-guessing, and a dozen explanations we don’t owe anyone.
If saying no sounds too harsh or abrupt, try this sentence instead. Polite, professional, and to the point. “I’d love to, BUT NOT AT THIS TIME.”
But here’s the truth: saying no is healthy. It’s also a key part of maintaining your sanity, especially if you’re a freelancer, business owner, or just someone with a full plate. The good news? There are plenty of ways to say no creatively and kindly, without sounding harsh or burning any bridges.
Ten Creative Ways to Say No (Without Burning Bridges)
1. “I’m at capacity right now, but I appreciate you thinking of me.” This one’s a favorite because it says, “I’m flattered, but no.” It’s professional, respectful, and sets a clear boundary, without closing the door forever.
2. “That sounds like a great project, but it’s not the right fit for me.” Perfect when something falls outside your niche or comfort zone. You don’t need to explain why—just a polite pass and a hint of encouragement.
3. “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.” Sometimes you need space to make the decision, or buy time to gather the confidence to say no. This gives you breathing room and avoids knee-jerk yeses.
4. “Unfortunately, I have to pass this time.” Short, sweet, and clear. No fluff, no guilt. It effectively conveys the point while still maintaining a respectful tone.
5. “I’m focusing on {project} right now, so I can’t take on anything else.” This one reminds people (and yourself) that your time and energy are limited, and you’re choosing to protect what matters most.
6. “I’d love to, but I have to say no to protect my other commitments.” If you tend to feel guilty turning people down, this one helps reframe your “no” as a responsible act. You’re honoring promises you’ve already made.
7. “Can I refer you to someone else who might be a better fit?” This is a win-win: you still say no, but you help solve their problem by pointing them in the right direction. Bonus: it makes you look helpful and generous.
8. “I’m flattered, but I have to decline.” Classic and classy. It shows you appreciate the offer, even though you’re not accepting it.
9. “That’s not something I’m able to take on right now.” Simple, direct, and straightforward. No need to overexplain. People usually respect honesty and confidence.
10. “Thanks for thinking of me! I’m going to pass this time.” Cheerful and gracious—ideal for turning down casual invites or non-urgent requests without sounding cold.
Why Saying No Matters
Saying no isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. It protects your time, energy, peace, and mental space. This, in turn, allows you to say yes to the things that truly align with your goals and values.
You don’t have to be rude, you don’t need to feel guilty, and you don’t owe anyone a long explanation. Saying no is a skill—and like any skill, the more you practice it, the better (and more confident) you get.
Remember:
Saying no doesn’t make you difficult. It makes you intentional.
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