humor

The Truth About Me- With a Side Order of PMS Attitude

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1. I don’t have an iPhone.os that apparently makes me uber-uncool. I also don’t own an iPod or digital camera. Plus I own no Ring Tones. PLUS (according to the neighbors) we have no curb appeal. That just plain makes me a freak of nature. And I wear it like a badge of honor, baby!

2. I love bracelets. I own many. I hate necklaces. I never wear them. And yet I own many. WTF?

3. I chuck banana peels out of the car window. It is NOT littering. At least not in Minnesota. It’s called “feeding the skunks and the deer…”

4. For years I bragged to my friends that, on my 40th birthday, I would either get a tattoo or skydive for the first time. Instead, on my 40th birthday..I found myself having a baby. No sh*t. How’s that for the opposite end of the spectrum?

5. I am allergic to parties. Hate them with a passion. Bridal showers, baby showers, company picnics….it doesn’t matter. I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon than go. And yet, put me on a committee or a project.. and I’ll ROCK IT.

6. I love Twitter and Facebook….BUT if you starting Following me, and your avatar looks even slightly porno, you will be SO dropped in the Blocked bucket.

7. I have ZERO patience for people who suck face in public. Get a damn room people.

8. I’d like to think I am a very kind, loving, giving, and patient person. I am fiercely loyal to my friends.

 

 

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