Why I Need My Own Personal Bouncer

Hi. I’m Franticmommy. I’m a Serial “Yes Girl” and a Recovering People-Pleaser….”

I don’t think you need to be a parent to feel the crunch of lack-o-time these days. Normal every day life paired with the constant requests from outside sources equal not enough hours in the day.

The problem is…I’m a Puss.

Pushover. Softy. Wimp.

I like people. I like helping people. I help people because it’s the right thing to do.

However, there comes a time when it becomes too much and my “helper-self” starts having mental smack-downs with my common-sense-self.  It’s like in the cartoons when there’s devil on one shoulder and an angel on another. 

When faced with yet another request for commitment, the angel smiles sweetly and reminds me that if I want to continue to be fabulous, I need to say “yes.”

The devil however looks more like Dr. Phil and shakes his head sternly and points to my already packed calendar.

What I truly need is for the Angel and Dr Phil to take a hike. And I really need to replace them with something..or someone.. who heads these conundrums off at the pass.

That’s why. I need a Bouncer.

A dude named Al who looks like this:

Or maybe a more Yumolicious version like this:

My Al would step in and be tough when I start waffling and wavering and saying “well, maybe I could…” 

That could be his cue to fold his beefy arms, glare, and say “NO!!!” when I find myself too weak and chicken-crap to do so myself.

Needy Person:  Would you volunteer on my committee?
ME: Sure.
AL: NO! She’s busy, Move along now.

Needy Person: I need to go to The Gap and then get a new tattoo. Would you watch my kid Saturday afternoon? You know, the same only who wrote on your walls and gave your kids cooties?
ME:…sure. Lice shampoos do great things these days..
AL: NO! Cooties BAD. Move along now.

My Al will keep me in line and never allow me to double-book, over-book, or work on weekends.

And then my Al would rub my feet and fetch me a Latte….

Hey, a mama can dream.

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