I now know yet another reason God blessed me with children
It’s to make me go, “Are you frickin’ kidding me?” on a regular basis.
Now, I am sure NO parent likes to get calls during the day from their child’s school. They are seldom good. The Principal does not call to say, “Hey! Just thought I’d call to let you know we think Little Johnny ROCKS!”
The nurse’s office does not call to say, “We just wanted to ask what you are feeding Little Sally cuz, well, she’s just so darn HEALTHY!”
We get the Dreaded Call from time to time… BUT..I am fairly sure no parent will be getting this type of call any time soon.
Let me set the scene for you. It was Thursday. I am the road driving home from a sales appointment. My cell phone rings at 2:00 p.m. and it’s the hubby.
The first words out of his mouth are, “The school just called. You’ll never believe what your kid did today.”
Oh. Do Tell.
And he did. Here’s is the live-and-in-living-color playback as told by FranticDaddy:
School: “Hello Mr. Franticdaddy. This is school nurse’s office calling.”
Hubs: “Oh gawd, now what?”
School: “It’s nothing serious, sir. We just wanted to make you aware of an….um…incident that occurred today with your son Jakey-D.”
Hubs: “Is he OK?”
School: “Oh yes yes he’s fine. There was…um..just a…unique situation in his First Grade class today.”
School: “Well… apparently one of Jakey-D’s classmates brought a deer skull today to show during snacktime. And well…the skull was..umm…..crumbly.”
School: “Yes crumbly. And apparently during snack time…your son…well…he accidentally ATE a piece of the deer skull thinking it was cookie frosting.”
Note: At this moment Hubs admits to pausing and glancing at the calendar to make sure it was NOT April Fools Day.
School: “Mr Franticdaddy, are you still there?”
Hubs: “Yes I am here. ..SO..you’re saying my kid ate part of a crusty deer skull with his snack…because he thought it was the icing off his cookie…”
School: “Um…YES. And he’s fine. Not sick or anything. We have him in the nurses office for observation. We just wanted you to know of the situation. Do you have any questions Mr. Franticdaddy?”
Hubs: “YES….just one. How does one not know they are eating…SKULL?
School (long pause): “We are not sure. He just commented it was…well…crunchy. We have him in the nurse’s office, you know, just to keep an eye on him.”
Hubs: “So, unless he is sprouting antlers and fur… send him back to class!”
It’s at this point in the story where I find that I REALLY need to pull the car over because I am severely in danger of running off the road. AND I’m almost peeing my pants. After I compose myself and catch my breath, hubs asks, “so what do you think of all that?”
I distinctly remember thinking, “This will make the best blog post ever!”