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Once again it’s time for some of the random, yet funny, stuff I heard last week. Was it a full moon?? I could swear it was. People were slightly….bat-crap-crazy.
Alas, the joys of working retail. Yee-frickin-Haw.
This first is a winner of the “Are You e-ffing Kidding Me?” Award and a perfect example of why my customers completely wear my a$$ out sometimes:
Customer, “Um…Hi. I have a ..um..question. I know you guys have a…um…umm…. open room with products in it….”
(you mean a STORE, Einstein???)
“…..I am wondering if you sell..umm…like..benches? You know…like..outdoor benches? So, like…um..we can have something to sit on for our smoke breaks.”
Different Customer, “Hello. I am wondering if I can return these folders. They are just too…green.”
Yet Another Customer, “Hi, I just wanted to call and apologize for the F-bomb I left on your voicemail because I am too stupid to understand how voicemail works…”
OK..I made that one up. But if I do find out which customer left a F-bomb on my voicemail…heads will roll.
This last comment is not from a customer, but from a dear friend. L. moved here from Moscow about 9 years ago and has some of the most delightfully descriptive sayings. When asked to describe her life she replied, “My life is round cereal. Like, how do you say?…Cheerios! I feel I run around in circles like crazy Russian Moose.”
This one still makes me giggle.
It’s even cuter if you add a heavy Russian accent when you read it.