humor, motherhood, parenthood

You Know You Are A Mother When

You count the number of sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they are equal.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your child throws up and you catch it.

Someone else’s kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.

You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.

Your child insists that you read “Once upon a Potty” out loud in the lobby of the doctor’s office and you do it.

You hire a baby sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then you spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it’s the only one your child eats.

You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back.

You can’t bear to give away baby clothes–it’s so final.

You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “Not in your good clothes.”

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

Any of these sound familiar?

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13 thoughts on “You Know You Are A Mother When

  1. I always salute mothers who play mummy full time.
    Regret to say I am still single but happy to say I enjoy no kids around 24/7. Love my niece and nephew to come by once a while. Have fun with them when they chuckle and when tired of them, just give them back to their mummy!
    Of course I always get ready chocolates and sweets for their visits!
    They love me too!

  2. You also know you are a mom when you love the smell of your kids’ feet and enjoy picking their crusty noses.

    Or is that just me?

  3. So many of these rang true! I love the shaving one leg thing, it makes me laugh that I cannot get through an entire shower without being interrupted. Love your list!

  4. I have kept a few baby clothes. I can shave both legs in one showering, now. My babies are 10. However, I shower at odd times of the day.

  5. Oh yes, that’s the truth! Pretty much every single one. Except the throw up thing… My kids are on their own with that one… of course they’re teenagers now, and it’s a lot different than toddler!
    Stopping by from SITS, lovely blog!

  6. Every single one of these sounds familiar. All except catching throw up. I just would rather clean the carpet.

  7. They all sound so familiar! Except that I do sometimes still criticize the way my mom raised me ;0)

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