humor, kids, parenthood

Dear Mom

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Dear Mom,



Hi, it’s me Jakey-D. You know, your kid?


I just wanted to say “sorry” for being a pain in your rear today…and last night.. and the night before. I know I am supposed to be extra good when Daddy’s gone….


..but I just forgot.


Kinda like how I forgot there’s not supposed to be rocks in the tub, earthworms in the house, and how it scares the stuffin outta you every time I bellow SQUIRREL!!!!”” when there’s a squirrel in the birdfeeder.


Yes, I know you told me you don’t give a crap about squirrels.


I also kinda forgot the part about, if I dig a big “tumungous” hole in the back yard, I should fill it up so you don’t step in it and break a leg.


Now…I remember that you said if that happened, Daddy might ship you to the glue factory.


I am not sure what that means……


..but thanks for filling in the hole for me. I really was trying to dig a trap for a squirrel.


The same one that was in the birdfeeder.


I’m am kinda sorry too I told you I wanted chicken for supper, than changed my mind to “Tubby Toast” (peanut butter toast). I know I changed my mind after you cooked the chicken, but you gotta eat too, right?


I’d like to say I am sorry too that I heckled you half the afternoon about buying a dog, an XBox, and a Star Wars Lego Set. I just want them real bad.
You said I have to earn it by being really good while Daddy is gone. You said you would give me a star for every day Dad is gone. I think you said the star is worth money. Cool.


But I want them all NOW. Like tomorrow.


You told me to be patient.


I am not sure what that means, but it sounds like it will take a long time. Not cool.


Did I mention I want it now?


I am “writing” this from my room where I’ve been sent..again. You said if I keep this up, not only will I get no stars, but I will be “in the hole”.


I think that means I will owe YOU money…but I just wanna make sure you are not referring to the hole I dug in the backyard.


It’s only squirrel sized after all.

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13 thoughts on “Dear Mom

  1. Sounds like that sassy devil has you scrambling! And don’t you know that you *have* to yell whenever you see a squirrel? Squirrels are SuperCool, Mom! Thanks for the laugh this afternoon!

  2. Too funny!!! Well, that would definitely keep things interesting, huh?

  3. Wow! He is industrious. I used to dig holes to when I was little. What a great idea with the stickers. Anything that works in your favor is a good thing.

  4. I loved this! You are too funny! I came over to thank you for stopping by my blog on Friday. I have been one of your followers for awhile now.

    I love your colors and blog…so cute!

  5. Swung by from WOW, bless his busy little boots. Whew! They are inventive little beggars sometimes aren’t they?

  6. ROFL You poor poor mommy you. Mine are always in their prime when daddy is gone too. Why, I don’t know. Hope it goes better!

    Stopping by from SITS!

  7. Hole digging!? I’d die. Particulary because our back yard is deck and cement… But still. Besides – how on earth do you hid a freshly filled hole?

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