humor, parenthood

The Baby Wet ‘Um Doll for Boys

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We adore our 7 year old. Sweetest kid in the world. Has the best hugs in the world, but he does have one…..quirk.

His nickname is The Heckler. The kid could nag the bark off a tree, I tell ya. And if “heckler” was his middle name, his first name would be “Persistent.” There’s been many, many, many occasions where we’ve had to interrupt his nagging/fussing/yammering with a firm “Jacob! Get OVER it and MOVE on!”

Did I mention it’s happened many times?

So we knew we were in for a HeckleFest when it came time to buying and wrapping a “Boy Gift” for his Second Grade Class Christmas Party. We knew we couldn’t tell him what we purchased because:
A. He would spill the beans as to what it was to the whole class.
B. He’d want to keep it for himself.

So needless to say the Matchbox Car set got wrapped in private. It was hub’s task to get said wrapped gift to school, without our Mini HeckleBunny noticing.

He failed. Shorty saw the tantalizing wrapped gift peeking out from Dad’s pocket and it was “game on.” The heckling questions started about a second-and-a-half after he spotted it, and came out rapid fire.

Jake: “What is it?”

Daddy: “Can’t tell you.”

Jake: “Why not?’

Daddy: “Cuz”

Jake: “Awwwww com’on! Whatisit?Isitnice?WouldIwantit?Wheredyagetit?Caniseeit? Huh? Huh?

Daddy: “It’s a Baby Wet’Um Doll.”

(Pause) Jake: “HUH??!! It was supposed to be a Boy Gift!”

Daddy: “It is. It’s a boy Baby Wet’Um Doll.”

(Long pause)”Oh..so…does it come with guns or Ninja stuff?”

Daddy: “Nope. Comes with a baby bottle, though.”

(Another looonnggg pause) “Really?”

Daddy: “Yup, and some boy diapers too.”

“Really?”

Daddy: “Yes, it burps and cries and poops it’s pants. Baby boy Baby Wet’Um is pretty cool.”

(REALLY long pause) “So, can I get one for myself?”………..

I am seriously worried about this kid’s future.

Happy Holidays to you and yours. And you got ’em, wet ’em.

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1 thought on “The Baby Wet ‘Um Doll for Boys

  1. Hi I’m new to your blog, and wanted to wish Happy Holidays to your family.

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