Dear Gramma, Thank you for the “Happy 8th Birthday” letter from Arizona. Next time, please do not include diet tips for my mommy in there. It’s a waste of time and it annoys the Mommy.
-Love, your grandson Jake
Dear Hubby, Next time you hear me pounding a nail in the house, instead of saying to the kids, “wonder what your crazy mom is up to now”, come find me and help me. Pay-backs are a bitch and it will suck for you if a hot pink sock “accidentally” falls in your laundry whites.
– Hugs and Kisses, Your “crazy wife”
Dear Ambition, Oh why-o-why Ambition, have you left me? Is it the long work hours? Too many side projects? Peri-menopause? Old frickin age? Too many hours sitting on my arse watching Ghost Adventures marathons? I used to be a Master Multi-tasker, now weekends fly by without me so much as rediscovering the color of my living room carpet. Whatever I’ve done, I apologize. Please come back soon. I am beginning to see “body outlines” in the sheets on my kid’s beds.
-Best Wishes, Someone-who-is-contemplating-a-cleaning-lady.