Franticmommy’s Plan To “Live As If…”

OK…I confess. I was one of the sheep in the herd enthusiastic shoppers a few years back when the public was in the throes of a headlong rush to the local bookstore for the latest rage in self-help-wanna-fix-me books otherwise know as The Secret.

It was a weak moment. Usually I patiently wait until the following year when I can find a Best Seller at a garage sale for a quarter.

But I succumbed to the madness and parted with $18.95 right on the spot and anxiously read the book. I can honestly say, when I was done, not much changed.

Recently I re-read The Secret again, and …well…I’ve come to the conclusion that…it’s a pretty good book. A little….well…OUT THERE….but still a pretty good book.

Hype aside, the reality is that the underlying message of The Secret is the SAME ONE that has been taught and preached for decades by some of the masters of self help, success, and motivation. It’s the same song, it’s just in a slicker package. Marketing 101: Find a way to tell readers old information, but in a new way.

Mission accomplished. Gotta tip my hat to ’em.

And I’d also like to give a round of applause to who every was smart enough to make The Secret purse-sized. Clever clever, clever. I don’t think that was an accident.

But the bottom line is; the message in this book is not new. Teachers like Napoleon Hill, Zig Ziglar, and Earl Nightingale were talking about the “you are what you think” message back before the subject was cool. Gurus like Tony Robbins, Dr Phil, and Martha Beck have been talking their faces off to people for years about one of the main messages in The Secret which is “live your life as if.”. Live as if you were already healthy, popular, rich and successful. Think bad, you attract bad. Think good, you attract good.

I get it. I’m groovin on it.

This whole concept/idea/theory trips my trigger. Live and pattern your life after the success you desire. Simple.

Well, I have a “secret” of my own to share.  My goal of living “as if” is to live like I am financially well off….

Ok, filthy rotten rich.

Not because I think money is power…oh no grasshopper..to me money is FREEDOM. Freedom to pursue my hopes, dreams, goals, and projects.  Freedom to do bat-shit crazy stuff like:
*Work at my own pace.
*Finish a thought.
*Nap occasionally and not feel guilty.
*Daily massages.
*Decide on a project or goal, research it, work it, and make it come to life.
*Live my life like it’s NOT a timed event.
*Never work for The Man ever again.
*Spend money with wild abandon and never clip another coupon again.

So with all that craziness in mind, what would I need to make this happen? I am thinking I could possibly do without the chauffeured Rolls, daily massages, and monthly consults with Oprah…but a personal trainer is a must since I am too lazy, pressed for time, and unmotivated to whip my own fat arse into shape.

A housekeeper! OMG YES. A housekeeper to scale Mount WashMore for me and actually *gasp* fold the laundry..and maybe even..::swoon:: iron it. And of course, clean. Well, duh.

A counselor too. Not for me, but for my poor spouse when he needs to tolerate me all day long..since I’m not working….just spending money and chatting with the Kardashians on Skype. And maybe one for my boss to help him get past me giving him the chubby middle finger and hittin the door running. Sorry dude. The gals of The View want to have a chat with me. Gotta run.

After a bit a calculation, I figure if I want to live out this fantasy and live “as if” for, lets say..a minimum of 2 weeks, I would need a cool $50,000 just to keep my boat, afloat. Yup. That’s it..*ahem*.

That’s a week too btw….cash. 

Angel Investor, please?

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