humor, Uncategorized

Why My Life Needs a Bouncer

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Hi. I’m Franticmmy and  I’m a Serial “Yes Girl”……

I don’t think you need to be a parent to feel the crunch of lack-o-time these days. Normal every day life paired with the constant requests from outside sources equal not enough hours in the day.

The problem is…I’m a Puss.

Pushover. Softy. Wimp.

I like people. I like helping people. I help people because it’s the right thing to do.

But even with “all of the above” there comes a time when we need to say to people “whoa in the mudhole!!!” (or, in normal-people-terms…I am full-up on obligations. Ask me in a month.)

That’s why. I need a Bouncer.

A dude named Al who looks like this:

bouncer

Or maybe a more Yumolicious version like this:

bouncer1

ohhh…double trouble.

My Als would step in and be tough when I couldn’t. They would fold their beefy arms, glare, and say “NO!!!” when I find myself too weak and chicken-crap to do so myself.

Needy Person: We need a volunteer for our committee.

ME: Umm….er…..OK…..Sure.

AL: NO! She’s busy, Move along now.

Needy Person: Could you watch my kid Saturday afternoon? The same one who had cooties a month ago?

ME: Um..er…sure. Lice shampoos do great things these days..

AL: NO! Cooties BAD. Move along now.

NeedyClient: Could you collate my socks, mail to my mailing list, hand deliver 40 things…on Sunday?

ME: Well…umm… I guess I could squeeze it in…

AL: NO! Sunday is day of rest. And foot massage day. Take a long walk off a short dock!

My Al will keep me in line and never allow me to double-book, over-book, or work on weekends.

And then my Al would rub my feet (hence “foot massage day”) and fetch me a Latte….

..sorry. drifted off there for a second.

But from what I hear, Als are expensive..and they eat a lot too. I guess I will have to fight my own battles.

I will still have a hard time saying no, but practice makes perfect. 🙂

 

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