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I love holiday gift giving. But as a parent I sometimes find myself holding my breath, praying we don’t get a toy that will end up raising Mom and Dad’s blood pressure 5 or 6 points.
Not that I am ungrateful..oh heavens no. I appreciate and understand “it’s the thought that counts.” However, I can however promise my “thoughts” won’t be too warm and fuzzy after you’ve given my 4-year-old-chronically-messy child a bucket of Moon Sand as a Christmas Gift.
Mama no likes gritty bedsheets. #EpicGiftFail
Then there was the year we got the Ginormous Mondo-Humungo Pack-o-Play Dough. Ah yes…I remember it well and still have flashbacks to evenings on hand and knew scraping colored goo off the tiled floor. At least that crap dries out. Moon Sand? Not-so-much.
So to save your name being uttered angrily the breath of a frustrated parent, here are 6 things I personally suggest you should never buy OPK..unless of course you have their permission…or will never see them again.
1. Anything will make ANY of us lose sleep at night. Scary movies, creepy clowns, freaky dolls. Those gifts will boomerang back at you so fast, it will make your head spin.
- Anything that eats, needs a bed, needs to be walked, or does bad things on the floor. I will include critters that swim in water or reside in a tank on this no-no list.
- Things that honk, beep, chatter, and wail at high volumes. We once got a dancing chicken that, when you pinch his wing, did some sort of Mexican Hat Dance at high volume. The real bummer is that he had NO off switch or volume control. After about a week, Crazy Chicken “got lost in the woods.”
- Anything that is not “age-appropriate.” If you give my 6-year-old a toy meant for the skill level of a High School Computer Nerd, I will hunt you down.
- Something that does not fit the personality of the child. This sounds petty, but honestly, if my kid is into art and science, an nut-cup for football is going to go over like a lead balloon.
- Weapons. Not a biggee in my household, but I do have a friend that doesn’t allow any sort of “play fighting” whatsoever. If I was to give her son numchucks and a toy rubberband gun?? AWKWARD.
- Things that involve NASA like Aeronautics skill to assemble.
What’s the craziest, most annoying toy your child ever received??
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