Battle of the Body and Brain (at 2 a.m.)

battle of the body and brain

It was the night before Work Day and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…

..not even a mouse.

BRAIN: Um, Excuse me? Body? Wake up please.

BODY: Whaaa….?

BRAIN: Would you kindly get up? Bladder not responding and you really have to urinate.

BODY: Go away.

BRAIN: No, seriously. You need to get up and get moving, Body.

BODY: Eff off. I’m warm and I ain’t movin.

BRAIN: I must insist. We need to use the toilet, and I hurt. I could use some Overpriced-OTC-Pharmaceuticals, STAT.

BODY: Go away.

BRAIN: I command you to wake Legs and get moving in the direction of the Bathroom Facilities!

BODY: No way. Legs were Restless up until two hours ago. I’m not wakin ’em up and go through that B.S all over again. Can’t you hold it?

BRAIN: Hold IT??!! We have to PEE for Pete’s Sake! What are you? Four?

BODY: Quit Bee-atchin. Ears may hear you and wake up too. Then Throat will wake up, complain how sore it is, demand gallons of water, and we’ll be right back in this predicament in a few hours.

BRAIN: May I remind you,. it’s not me that will be lying in soaked, stinky sheets. Get moving before we have a childish accident!

BODY: Oh, alright..$$#@!!!)).

BRAIN: Watch your Mouth. If we do this quickly, we won’t wake up all the way and we will be able to fall back asleep.

BODY: You’re not the boss of me. Wait! What the? You did not just give me a zit!

BRAIN: I guess I am the boss of you, aren’t I? Get moving before I give you a yeast infection too. You know how crabby Va-gy-gy gets when she’s uncomfortable.

BODY: This sucks. We need to plan our fluids better. Be sure and take the P.M. nighttime OTC crap. I don’t want you running your Worry List up-in-there and yapping at me the rest of the night.

Moral of the story: If Brain ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
Be nice to your Brain, or it will eff you up!


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