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Sunday started off well enough. Cup-o-coffee, a nice sunrise and some giggles from my blog-mates. But after breakfast things temporarily became a big, gigantic ball of yuck.
A quick summary would be, coffee pot overflowed, son got put in time-out (again) and daughter (who’s buckin me on the potty training)unbeknownst to me striped off her diaper, put on a pair of Big Girl Undies and promptly piddled all over the carpet.
To make matters worse, I yelled, she cried, and hubby donated a couple of really-piss-me-off-snarky-comments which was the real topper on this turd cake. After Princess Leaky Drawers was bathed, the floor was de-peed, and hubby slunk off to watch TV, I retreated to the basement to wash some stinky Ariel The Mermaid Panties.
After loading washer and pushing “go”, I had a major epiphany…I didn’t want to go back upstairs. So instead I sacked out on the bean bags chairs in the playroom. It was delightfully quiet and the hum of the washer soothes my fried nerves. After 5 minutes I calmed down, after 10 minutes I relaxed, after 15 minutes I began to wonder if anyone actually missed me. Then I start noticing “the noises.“
Specifically the ones coming from upstairs.
What’s that? Oh, it was Daddy bellowing like a stuck hog “Mommy where are you!!??”…well I guess that answered the question of whether they missed me or not. I could hear my tiny, 27 pound three year old clumping around upstairs cuz, let’s face it, the little fart walks like a Clydesdale (at least I always know where she is). After 16 minutes my feet started to get cold and I needed to pee. *sigh* Just as I was contemplating my return to the Upper Kingdom of Annoying Folks, I heard the thundering of little feet coming down the steps.
Crap..I’ve been discovered.
My son (lookin dandy fine in his Ninja costume) pounced on me with vigor and Princess Pee-Pants shouted “there you are Mommy!” which such glee it made my heart melt. Oh…ok, I’ll come back….this time.
Great Story!! Don’t you love how they can have such pure joy when they see you!! It makes my heart melt too!!
Thanks for sharing your story on my blog!
Poop knife? (just saw that in the comment above) THink I missed that!
Great post. Hope today is a better day. And, I have a three year old (boy) who is buckin’ me on the potty training, too. I’m with ya, sister.
Hey Frantic Mommy,
Per your recommendation, I read the Legend of the Poop Knife. I laughed so hard, because my hubby’s family has a poop knife – EXCEPT THEY DON’T THROW IT OUT. So, you’re a hundred years ahead of us in the class department. I’ve resorted to plastic knives, but I like your dollar store knife idea. Might have to give that a try…
I’m glad that you and I are living parallel lives!
Lynn from For Love or Funny
Ah, the joys of parenting! Loved your post. Made me laugh out loud!
Housewife Savant says
DeLIGHTful post. Glad you came back… for the blogging.