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Things I Never Thought I’d Say

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Parenting is a hoot. An ever-changing adventure. And as I enter my 6th year of parenthood, I look back on all the cornball, hypocritical, and just plain weird things that have come out of my mouth..all in the name of Parenthood:
1. “If you are a big enough boy to go fishing with Dad, you’re big enough to wipe your own butt.

2. Honey, when you write a Wish List to Santa, you are NOT “placing an order”…

3. Who taught you the phrase “booty call”???

4. No, girls don’t have dingers.

5. For Gawd sake, if she wants to have a hot dog for breakfast, let her have one!

6. Jakey-D-, if you need to pee on a tree, turn away from the street.

7. Sara-Boo, toothpaste is for your teeth, not for painting the furniture.

8. No…the Tooth Fairy does not live under your bed.

9. That is NOT a dinosaur egg..

10. No! You cannot use your potty seat as a tub toy.

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4 thoughts on “Things I Never Thought I’d Say

  1. BAHAHAHAHA!! Love the blog.

    In addition, this week I have said:
    “Don’t paint your sister”
    “Take the peapod out of your nose please”
    “Please stop rolling all over the floor. You’re going to throw up”

  2. OMG! These are too funny. I’ve caught myself saying some of them too – love the “dingers” comment! LOL

    Thanks for stopping by my “kingdom of pink”! It goes nicely with your “kingdom of tired, don’t ya think?”

  3. Very amusing blog!! I’ve enjoyed it with my morning coffee. Since my boys are now teenagers, its brought back a lot of memories! I wish that there was blogging when they were small, so many memories escape me now. Thanks for the laughs!!

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