The “HELP ME!” Egg

I intensely dislike coloring Easter eggs. Ok, there I’ve said it. May a chocolate-bunny shaped bolt of lightening strike me down! If there is a Grinch for Easter eggs..I am IT. I am not quite sure what about it I dislike so much. But I do know that the last 4 years of egg coloring has been filled with stains, messes, and lots of tears. The mortality rate on our eggs is high. We’re lucky if 50% make it to the dying bowl unscathed. I wish I knew of a magical way to make eggs color, to make them NOT crack and a way to make those $$##@ stickers that come in the box STICK. All of this would eliminate mucho biotchin from my 6 year old. This year we only did 6 eggs. I was hoping that if I kept the quantity down, it would not prolong the agony any longer than needed. I am happy to say it went smoother than previous years. Did you know that a crack/dent in the side of a shell makes a cool spiderweb pattern when dyed? And we remembered to write on the eggs with the wax crayon BEFORE we dunked them this year (the egg pictured above is my masterpiece. And in case you were wondering it say “AARRRGGHH!!! on the other side). But we got ‘er done and Jake went to school today with green and blue fingers. Secretly I was relieved that the demon-egg-dyin process was DONE until another year…until I got home last night and was met by the pouty, pucked face of our 6 year-old.
Mmmmoomm“, he whined “Daddy threw out our Easter eggs!”.

Huh? (panic) “WHY?”

Cuz they were starting to stink”, replies Daddy (not even looking up from his newspaper). “You guys shoulda put them in the fridge”.


MMMOOMMMM“, warbles a frustrated little voice. “Can we make more?”



*sigh* So guess what I am doing today? At least all the Easter stuff will be at least 50% off. And the little $$@@##!! stickers in the box? I am hoping the fact they are half price make them magically more sticky. Otherwise, there’s always Elmer’s Glue!

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5 thoughts on “The “HELP ME!” Egg

  1. I’m posting this way down here by the eggs hoping it’ll be a bit hidden, plus because the egg S.O.S. is dang funny.
    (You have noreply email, but as soon as I read your comment I got the following idear…)

    George Michael offered Chicken Soup for The Vegetarian’s Soul with “I Want Your Sex.”

    Making us all excited like that…?

  2. Egg dying can bite me, because I refuse to do it again next year. Nobody told me that if you don’t use vinegar, the eggs won’t dye at all. That blow big time.

    Hugs and Mocha,

  3. You are TOO funny! I hate dying eggs, too. And if it wasn’t for my darling next door neighbor my kids would NEVER have dyed an egg in their entire lives. Unfortunately, for my kids, we moved across the country when they were 9 and 6 and they never dyed another egg. Too bad! Your “masterpiece” made me laugh out loud. “Help me!” sums it up almost as well as “ARGGGHH!! I totally get it. I love your posts. You are awesome!

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