New Rules In The Kingdom Of Tired

Kids are tricky little buggers.

Don’t get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for how little minds tick and how they are always “workin the angles”. Being a parent sometimes is like Risk Assessment. Your mind has to always be working about three minutes ahead of your mouth. Just today, in a twenty minute conversation about cats, somehow our 6 year was convinced he was GETTING a cat just because of a poorly timed “uh Huh” on my part. So we had to create a new rule.

* No cats until Jake is old enough to have his own kids and live in his own house. (Right about the time he will be taking care of me cuz I am OLD)

Here’s more creative rules from The Kingdom of Tired:

* It is unacceptable to burst into Mom & Dad’s bedroom at 6:43 a.m on a Saturday, shrieking there is a squirrel in the bird feeder. Mom and Dad don’t care…no really, we REALLY don’t care about squirrels on our only day to sleep in. And hey, squirrels need breakfast too.

*No more jelly sandwiches or yogurt in the living room. It’s bad enough my carpet now looks like a hound with mange, Mom really doesn’t like jelly on her butt (much less her favorite chair that her butt rarely has time to be in).

* Those little pieces of paper stuck in Mom and Dad’s book? Well, we didn’t put them there to be pulled out and flung about like confetti. They are there for a reason so, keep your little paws off.

*No underwear to be worn as hats in front of company. Ever.

Last but not least …the #1 rule in The Kingdom of Tired (“survey says”!)

*There is one bathroom in this castle. He who holds it too long, pees on a tree.

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15 thoughts on “New Rules In The Kingdom Of Tired

  1. fabulous rules!!! but i’m all about the “There is one bathroom in this castle. He who holds it too long, pees on a tree”…that’s HILARIOUS!!

  2. LOL…you’ve got all the best rules listed! I love them and think you should make copies and sell your list to other moms!

  3. I really should have done a better job at instituting the “food only at the table” rule long ago… My dirty couches reproach me daily.

  4. I am with Michele. YES,I’d love to add another bathroom and make the stinky boys use THAT ONE. But 7K is about $6999. more than I want to spend right now. Plan ahead, plan your fuild, get in line, or go pee on a tree (since us “girls” rule the household *snicker* I feel comfortable with saying that):)

  5. I am so with you on the Saturday morning early wake-up call. (BTW, why don’t they ever do that on the weekdays?)

    We are a one-bathroom household, too, and with two teenage daughters. I have a rule–if you’re not bathing, using the sink, or using the toilet, you need to be out of the bathroom. They have hair dryers in their room, they can put on their make-up in their room, they can get dressed in their room…you get the picture.

    My husband wants to add on a bathroom, but I argue that $30K+ for a room that only gets minimal use just isn’t worth it. I know, I’m weird and cheap, but that’s me. (Besides, with teenagers, they’re almost gone and then we get the bathroom all to ourselves! 🙂 )

  6. Problem with the peeing in the tree thing is that my sons would love to do that ALL THE TIME. Yikes! So happy to see a new follower on my blog and am glad to reciprocate. I look forward to getting to know you! Since I’m almost 41, I’m close behind ya — chasing little ones to teens everyday. And always after the elusive nap. 🙂

  7. Uh…so I think I need to enact the “no underwear as hats” rule.
    And the Saturday morning rule FOR SURE!

  8. We have the same rules in our house, though the kids don’t necessarily follow them all the time. We did just put down new wood floors so I’m being a real stickler on the whole “food doesn’t leave the kitchen” rule. We’ve had lots of tantrums over this new rule.

    I like the no underwear rule….I’ve even go so far as to make the rule “No one will ever put on Mommy’s bra and run outside to check the mail”.

    Stopping by from SITS!!

  9. Being woken early on a weekend is grounds for being banished to the dungeon – indefinitely!

    Sleeping Beauty

  10. What? No CATS?
    I’m calling Child Protective Services right now.

    Seriously; one bathroom… is there an agency that advocates for the Frantic Mommy?

  11. I LOVE those rules. Especially the bookmark one. It drives me absolutely crazy when my little ones pull the bookmarks out of the books I’m reading.

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