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The Uncool Mom

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I wear my uncoolness like a badge of honor. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Huey Lewis wrote “Hip To Be Square” bout lil ol me. Why am I uncool? Ohhh…let me count the ways!

I AM UNCOOL BECAUSE:

*I will NOT let my 6 year-old play bloody/graphic videos games with the older boy at daycare. And WOW, what a big unpopular dork that makes me.

*I am the Mom who tries to pack healthy school lunches instead of expensive prepackaged junk food. I’d rather spend a few extra minutes packing a lunch that I know will get eaten, then have a famished kid who opted to eat at school tell me at 4:00, “the cafeteria hotdish looked like snot, Mom.”

* I am the weirdo that goes into a Big-Name-Brand-Coffee-Shop Charin and tells the barista I want “a plain o black coffee.” If I’m feeling really saucy that day, I’ll order it with flavored creamer and TWO sugars. Jump back, Jack.

*I am brutally honest. If you’re being rude, arrogant or inappropriate (especially to my family) consider yourself CHECKED. REALLY jump back, Jack.

*I chronically consistently I live in them 24/7 sometimes wear pants with stretchy waistbands. If I have to trapped in these damn pants all day, I’d better be comfy. I don’t even wear Mom Jeans. They are just too…too..CONFINING.

*I don’t believe in muffin tops, low rider jeans, thongs or “free-boobin-it” with no bra under my tank top. I couldn’t bear to look at myself in that stuff, why would I subject others to it as well?

*I’d rather hang with my family than spend 4 hours an evening on Facebook or Twitter. Sorry, no fake farming, candy-named games ,or “what movie star are you most like” surveys for this chick.

So I am uncool. Check with my kids in about 10 years and I am sure they will second the motion. But you know what? But that’s OK. I am committed to starting the trend of uncool being the “new cool!”

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21 thoughts on “The Uncool Mom

  1. I think your “uncoolness” makes you a fabulous mother and role model. I think you have perfectly identified the fact that being “cool” means being happy and comfortable with who you are and what truly makes you happy.

    This post ROCKS.

  2. I’m uncool too.

    I am so with you on wearing a bra. What is with these ladies without support??

  3. FINALLY! The mysteries of the ReTweet solved! Thanks Shaye! 🙂

  4. Oh darling, I loooove your uncoolness!

    And quick note on retweet, I only signed up for Twitter like a week ago (so not an expert here or anything…still barely makin’ my way). But I downloaded TweetDeck after a few friends tweeted about it and everything is SOOO much simpler. And when someone posts something, you can mouse over their picture and there are four options–one of the options is re-tweet so it instantly re-posts what they said. That way you’re advertising whatever they said for them. And now that I typed all of this I’m thinking that maybe you didn’t really want to know and now I feel so silly and even more of an uncool mom. LOL

    Oh well…at least I’m used to it.

    Have a fabulous week!

    ~2Shaye

  5. whatever! you’re so cool it’s insane how cool you are! and i don’t have a facebook or tweet account either… i’d much rather sit my lazy arse on the couch and watch cash cab!

  6. I think we are all showing our uncoolness but we are mums so I think thats a given.

    In Australia the new word for cool is hectic. I’m so not with the times. I think I will always say things are cool or not cool.

  7. oh! oh! oh! I forgot one! (Michelle made me think of it). I say un-hip Mom things like “totally” and my personal fav “way-cool”…which as I type it looks just as dorky as it must sound from my uncool 43 year-old lips!

  8. I’m uncool to auntie, I love being that way atelast someday my kids will appreciate it. I know this cause I appreciate my mom being uncool..now 25yrs later. lol all in good time. I went to park the other day and was putting sun block on kids and this mom said “all you young mom geesh, you should let you kids get some sun and color.” ok my age has nothing to do with it, i’d rather keep my kids safe from cancer, so I don’t care if they are paley white, atleast they are healthy

  9. Is there an “Uncool Mom’s Club” for people like us? I don’t let my kids watch most TV shows…they’ve never seen The Bachelor or American Idol or Hannah Montana and I don’t consider them deprived in the slightest. I think “American Cheese” is insulting to America because there is nothing wholesome or nutritious about it…and will only let my kids have cheese without artificial colors. Oh, and I say “totally” all the time, according to my kids who are appalled that I speak “eighties.”

    Truthfully, the things that are supposedly cool are things in which I’m rarely interested, so why should I do things in which I am not interested so people think I’m someone I’m not? Complete waste of a life if you ask me.

  10. You are the cooliest weird person I know.

    By the way, what do you pack your kids for lunch? I’m trying to pack healthy lunches too.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

  11. What is Retweet? I don’t twitter or whatever you say when you twitter, so I have no clue.
    I love uncool people, perhaps because I’m uncool myself. 🙂

  12. I’m totally “uncool” as well. And I have two teens who are more than happy to vouch for me on that! LOL!

  13. If you’re uncool then I know I’m in that category, because you Rock to me!

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