Family, humor

Betty Crocker I is Not..Apparently

I confess…my cooking sucks. My husband, to this day, will retell (and retell, and retell) the story when we were newlyweds and I attempted to make clam chowder.

Only I accidentally used oysters instead.

Did you know oysters turn a milk-based soup green? Plus when you give it a stir, it looks like eyeballs floating in it. It was a bad scene.

So it’s no secret my hubby does all the cooking in the house. Why fight it? He wants to do it and it saves me from hearing screeching and someone yelling “the smoke detectors going off again! Mom must be cooking!”……..

Smart a$$es.

So today and tomorrow it’s “MEA” around here. I don’t know what “MEA” really means, but in my world that means:
1. No school
2. Hubby is duck hunting.

And since there is no school, our First Grader is enjoying the good life at Joy’s. She’s been our daycare provider for the last 6 years.

Maybe too good.

Mom”, .Jake comments as he watches me fumble around the kitchen. “Gramma Joy’s cooking is very…old. And it’s very good”. (She’s one of those annoying cook-from-scratch-people.)

“oh really?” I murmur while prowling the cupboards for something to nuke that resembles supper.

“Yup“, Our Eldest Rugrat adds confidently. “And your cooking is very…YOUNG…and it’s not very good”.

Gee thanks. Thank goodness for hot dogs, PB&J, and daycare ladies…or my children would starve during hunting season!

Please share!

16 thoughts on “Betty Crocker I is Not..Apparently

  1. haha auntie you crack me up. Uncle must get his cooking from g-ma cause dad is really good cook too. When we were little we’d tolerate moms food but love when dad was cooking, I think I inherited his gene (I hope). I’m one of those old school make from scratch too..usually cheaper..but every kids loves a great PB & J sand. they tought alyssa how to make them at her school the other day so now thats all she wants

  2. OMG! Something must be in the water this week because I just posted about how I am a lame cook, too! Actually I like to call my cooking style “Cut and Dump!”

  3. Man that oyster story is priceless! yeah eyeballs plus they have a much stronger taste – fishier or something….but lol…im laughing so hard.

    So glad I came here

  4. Your “clam” chowder sounds like it would be the perfect dish to serve on Halloween – green, thick soup with eyeballs in it. I say you serve it on October 31st.

  5. Don’t beat yourself up, FM! Your job is to see that your kids get fed…the “how” and “who” issues ultimately don’t matter. 🙂

    Years ago I’d always set off the kitchen smoke detector when I made grilled cheese. They came out fine…just something about the grill smoking always set it off. One time my kids were out with my husband when some firetrucks drove in the direction of our house, sirens blaring, and one daughter says, “Mom must be making grilled cheese.” Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence there! LOL!

  6. OMG we must be related cuz seriously this past year I have been thinking I have making some freakn fantastic meals and then be told they suck …… what eva is what I say…..

    So now I say hey I cooked if you dont like it then there is always cereal…:)

    Happy thursday

  7. I can join the club. I’m a lousy cook also and the kids will let me know! My kids are older, so if they want to, they can make dinner!!

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