Growing Up and Growing Old(er). The Big 4-5, Baby!

It seems like not all that long ago (OK, a year) when I was fussing about being “Double 4’s”. Turning 44 was….distressing. Distressing to think my life was half gone ( or 1/4 gone. I plan to live long enough to at least be labeled A Centurion..and to bug the crap outta my kids)) and I was just NOW, and only now, beginning to get my Sea Legs in this Game Called Life. WTF?

Now I am looking at 45 (nov 30th). Forty-frickin-Five with two kids under 8. Double WTF?  I’ve done the math, there is no changing it. You take a 60 year old woman and subtract 15 years and you get me. No matter how many times I try to take the year 2010 and deduct 1965 from it, I still end up with the same result. And YES, those “two kids under 8” are indeed not rentals MINE.

OMG, I am officially now “mid Forties.” Book me a room in at the Big Denial Inn please.

When I was born, dressing like this was HOT.
And a gallon of gas was 31 cents.

When I was 10, Banana Seat bikes were in. And don’t forget the flower festooned wicker-ish basket that had to be fastened to the front. All the cool kids had the basket. Helmets? No such thing. We just all tried to hit the soft spots in the grass if we were about to wipe out.

When I was 16 mall bangs, Men At Work , and legwarmers were da bomb.

Mine were baggy, Kmart hunks of crap that fell down all the time. I vividly remember the millisecond year when the “layered look” was Where.It.Was.At. If you had any style sense at all, you wore a colored turtle neck, a cotton button down shirt (in a contrasting color), and yet another button down shirt (in yet a different color) over that so you could layer the lapels. I look at pictures from that year am I looked like the Stay Puff Marshmellow girl with a defective Flock Of Seagulls-like hairdo. I looked like I was layered up to climb Everest.

There were a lot of sweating, fluffy-looking, grumpy teens that year.

The reality is, I guess I am a grown-up now. I don’t feel grown up. I don’t wanna be grown up. There’s days I yearn for the simplicity of those teens years when it was still possible to use the innocent dumbness or an “I’m too young to know better” excuse get out of trouble. Using the “I am so sorry. I just didn’t know that” classic dumbcrap line got me out of many a pickle in those early years.
That line doesn’t work so much at my age. Bosses don’t tend to believe you when you are 45 and you say “I am so sorry. I didn’t know I could give the company computer viruses by downloading stuff on company time..” What a jip.

My idea of “fun” seems to have changed now too. I used to love to ice skate as a child. Now it just looks like a great way to break my neck or give my chiropractor large quantities of cash.

I used to stay up all night, or get an hour or two of sleep and still be able to navigate a workday with no problem. Now, I am in bed by 9:30 and if I don’t get my allotted 8 hours of sleep….I’m not a very nice person. Nobody likes me much if I don’t get 8 hours. I’ve become a sleep wussy.

You know you are of “advanced maternal age” when you hesitate to go down tunnel slide at the park because:
A-You have a fear of not being able to get IN the damn slide, much less OUT.
B-You know there is a distinct possibility your aging fat a$$ could get STUCK in one of the turns.

My food habits have changed as well. I used to love Root Beer Floats, Fried Cheese Curds, and Pizza’s with everything.

Now those items send me running for the Pepto with a bad case of Mount St Helen’s butt.

Captain Crunch used to be my cereal of choice. Now I opt to be a “regular kind of gal” and go for the fibery, nutty, whole-grainy crap. A.k.a “Colon Blow”.

But Growing up and Growing old(er) is not so bad. I am wiser, calmer, and more clearer as to what I want out of life. I will live it to the fullest, and not fall into a rut. I will love, laugh, dance, challenge, explore, and cherish. The way I intend to live is best summed up in one of my favorite quotes:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, margarita in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!”

How do you intend to live life? 🙂

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9 thoughts on “Growing Up and Growing Old(er). The Big 4-5, Baby!

  1. That is a terrific quote, except I just can’t bring myself to do it. Margaretas give me wicked hangovers and chocolate makes me bloat.
    And what were you talking about with the layered look…nobody told me it had gone out of style?
    I love posts like this. I always get nostalgic. I think I’m going to go out and rent “The Breakfast Club” now.

  2. Happy almost Birthday! What a great day for a Birthday, my middle one will be 3 on that day 🙂

  3. Funny stuff….and most of it oh so true! But, you’re already being a Frantic Mommy about a birthday that’s almost 2 months away?! Not to fear! You obviously already have a “Young at Heart” way of thinking and living. And the fact that we can’t do the things we used to do…well, as you said…(I think!) Who would want to do most of them now anyway? Like going down the water slide thingy! I am WAY older than you, in PEOPLE years…but inside, where it matters the most…I’m still YOUNG! I truly feel the same way I did when I was about 35 or so…except for the “few” extra pounds and minor aches! Gosh, I guess I’ve rambled on long enough! Just wanted to say, I love your blog and your sense of humor!!

  4. heehee. Laura, I liked your version better. So I COPIED it!
    Shannon: YES, I want to be YOU as I age. I can see you and I now. TRaveling the world, leaving a trail of awesomeness whereever we go!
    Oh yes and Christina AND Laura..I try real hard to NOT act my age on a regular basis! 😉
    Thaks guys!

  5. I’ve been told that you are supposed to add the digits to find your real age. So you are actually 9, which means you should act accordingly!

    Great post! Hope your birthday is as fun as this was to read!

  6. I love that last quote – I have it written a little differently: “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, margarita in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!”

    And as someone who has only known you for a short time and never knew your age until now, you do not look or seem 44, going on 45. I would have guessed upper 30’s. Not just saying that either.

    Thanks for the reminder to LIVE THIS LIFE!


  7. Had to wait until I laughed my “mt st helens butt” off before posting my comments. Girl – I hit 45 in March (or so says the calendar). You know me – tell me you don’t want to be like me at 45! I have decided that I am now having un-birthdays – each year I subtract a year so this year I am actually 44 again. I STILL love Flock of Seagulls, my daughter did scrunch socks yesterday (they’re still in), I have a stomach of iron so can still eat anything – I credit my love for habenero peppers for that gift. I bought skates 3 years ago – at this age we are allowed to STOP GIVING A CRAP what people think of us. GUESS WHAT – NOBODY IS CHECKING US OUT ANYMORE! SO PUT ON YOU SCRUNCH SOCKS, MALL BANGS YOUR HAIR, BUY YOURSELF A ROOT BEER FLOAT (YOU CAN ALWAYS JUST CARRY IT TO LOOK COOL) and show the world that you are woman of independence (not DEPENDS) and rock it! YOU’LL LOVE YOURSELF AGAIN!

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