It seems like not all that long ago (OK, a year) when I was fussing about being “Double 4’s”. Turning 44 was kinda..um….distressing. Distressing to think my life was half gone ( or 1/4 gone. I plan to live long enough to at least be labeled A Centurion..and to bug the crap outta my kids)) and I was just NOW, and only now, beginning to get my Sea Legs in this Game Called Life. WTF?
When I was 10, Banana Seat bikes were in. And don’t forget the flower festooned wicker-ish basket that had to be fastened to the front. All the cool kids had the basket. Helmets? No such thing. We just all tried to hit the soft spots in the grass if we were about to wipe out.
When I was 16 mall bangs, Men At Work , and legwarmers were da bomb.
Mine were baggy, Kmart hunks of crap that fell down all the time. I vividly remember the
millisecond year when the “layered look” was Where.It.Was.At. If you had any style sense at all, you wore a colored turtle neck, a cotton button down shirt (in a contrasting color), and yet another button down shirt (in yet a different color) over that so you could layer the lapels. I look at pictures from that year am I looked like the Stay Puff Marshmellow girl with a defective Flock Of Seagulls-like hairdo. I looked like I was layered up to climb Everest.
There were a lot of sweating, fluffy-looking, grumpy teens that year.
The reality is, I guess I am a grown-up now. I don’t feel grown up. I don’t wanna be grown up. There’s days I yearn for the simplicity of those teens years when it was still possible to use the innocent dumbness or an “I’m too young to know better” excuse get out of trouble. Using the “I am so sorry. I just didn’t know that” classic dumbcrap line got me out of many a pickle in those early years.
That line doesn’t work so much at my age. Bosses don’t tend to believe you when you are 45 and you say “I am so sorry. I didn’t know I could give the company computer viruses by downloading stuff on company time..” What a jip.
My idea of “fun” seems to have changed now too. I used to love to ice skate as a child. Now it just looks like a great way to break my neck or give my chiropractor large quantities of cash.
I used to stay up all night, or get an hour or two of sleep and still be able to navigate a workday with no problem. Now, I am in bed by 9:30 and if I don’t get my allotted 8 hours of sleep….I’m not a very nice person. Nobody likes me much if I don’t get 8 hours. I’ve become a sleep wussy.
You know you are of “advanced maternal age” when you hesitate to go down tunnel slide at the park because:
A-You have a fear of not being able to get IN the damn slide, much less OUT.
B-You know there is a distinct possibility your aging fat a$$ could get STUCK in one of the turns.
My food habits have changed as well. I used to love Root Beer Floats, Fried Cheese Curds, and Pizza’s with everything.
Now those items send me running for the Pepto with a bad case of Mount St Helen’s butt.
Captain Crunch used to be my cereal of choice. Now I opt to be a “regular kind of gal” and go for the fibery, nutty, whole-grainy crap. A.k.a “Colon Blow”.
But Growing up and Growing old(er) is not so bad. I am wiser, calmer, and more clearer as to what I want out of life. I will live it to the fullest, and not fall into a rut. I will love, laugh, dance, challenge, explore, and cherish. The way I intend to live is best summed up in one of my favorite quotes:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, margarita in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!”
How do you intend to live life? 🙂