9 Random Dorky Thoughts From Franticmommy

“So, why are you called Franticmommy”, you maybe asking?

Or maybe you don’t ask. Who cares. I am just assuming here….ohhhhhh just shush-up and let me tell my story.

I am “Franticmommy” because my life moves at a frenetic pace. Frenzied. Nutso. If I was a stove, all four burners would be going at the same time…All.The.Time.

What? “Frenetic” isn’t a real word?

Yes it is. IT IS.

My Mom told me so. And do did WikiDictionary-on-line-thingy.

So because my life moves fast, and am in normal status quo of being One Step From Losing My Mind, I thought I’d get creative take the cop-out route post some of my Retweets from my constant stream of uber-brilliant Twitter fodder.

Oops, that’s right. There weren’t any RT’s. Drat.

OK, well…scratch that. I’d post the constant comments on my Facebook feeds that all say “how brilliant!” or “you’re FABULOUS”…but that would be a bald-faced effin LIE.

So now that I’m fresh-tapped-out of profound ideas, I will fall back on Good Ole Reliable; Random Dorky Thoughts from Franticmommy. Ahhh, it’s great to be Queen.

1. Right now, a gallon of gas is currently the same price as a pound of deli turkey.

2. You’d think I’d be better at Belly Dancing. I have lots of belly. But recently I paid $25 to find out I have no rhythm. Epic bummer. Scratch “belly dance flash mob” off my bucket list. 🙁

3. I am making a “special trip” to the grocery store today. My husband, the Family Grocery Shopper, won’t go down the tampon aisle of the grocery store because it “smells funny”. Ponder, and discuss amongst yourselves.

4. Dear Direct TV. Your ad with the dude with the heavy accent and the tiny giraffe is LAME. It makes no sense and does not make want to rush to the phone and order Direct TV. I’ll bet some poor ba*stard in the Marketing Department got canned over that one. p.s my children highly desire the tiny giraffe. Can you tell me where you bought yours?

5. If you can smile during a crisis you must have someone in mind to blame.

6. The guy ahead of me at the Post Office told me he was certain that women were the root of all evil. I can’t say I disagree. I thought of our conversation fondly when I was slashing his tires.

7. Some people have a magnetic personality. I do too, but I attract “d-bags” and “a$$ hats”. Can someone tell me how to deactivate this thing?

8. Look! A molting duck!


What’s YOUR random dorky thought for the day?

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2 thoughts on “9 Random Dorky Thoughts From Franticmommy

  1. i’m still laughing! thanks for making me laugh! 🙂 you’re fabulous!! so…did you know florida is shaped like a gun? yes, the land of fraud. once i thought i was getting served with divorce papers (i was sooo happy) but then it turned out to be some retard i “tapped” in the barely moving bank teller car line. when she got out of the car, she had all thse bandages on her lower legs…yes, land of fraud! have a fabulous one running around, ms frenetic! 🙂

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