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It started as a great day
I woke up full of ambition and big plans. I wanted to try three new recipes and a new craft. Little did I know, the Creativity Gods were not aligning with me.
The ill-fated craft was Squid in a Bottle. I think the actually directions called it a “jellyfish” but heck, “squid” sounds so much more interesting. AND…it looked simple enough. I even showed the kids the “how-to” video for a second opinion. Geeked with excited at the thought of having a fake grocery-bag squid on a soda bottle, the kiddies helped me gather the supplies.
30 minutes later, Squid#1 , #2 AND #3 were a complete bust and basically looked like a floating lumps of plastic. I got the bright idea to but an rock in Squid #3 for a weighted head. As it turned out the only thing with rocks in the head was me. The Squid Project was officially a bust.
“Maybe I am not cut out for crafting,” I sighed to our 9 year-old.
“No mama,” he reassured, “just ‘Squid Crafts.’”
I’ve heard a rumor if you actually set timers, it tends to help. Apparently one disaster leads to the other. As I was producing lame squid crafts, I lost track of time and **poof**…...::runs to wave a towel in front of the smoke detector::
The result not one, but TWO pans of scorched stir fry veggies. The house had taken on a lovely orange haze.
Screw this, I thought. Time to try to do some baking. (I can’t efff that up, right?”)
Half way into my Pumpkin Bread recipe I realized I was sorely short of flour..like a cup-and-a-half short. No biggee, I just substitute oatmeal.
Smooth move, Einstein.
One hour later I pulled two rectangle-shaped briquettes out of the oven that were the color of baby diarrhea. YUM
I am thinking they will make lovely stepping stones on the garden.
Like Kenny Rogers says “you gotta know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em.”
I committed to the fact I was a danger to society and my punishment was an afternoon of wine and Swamp People re-runs.
I’ll be awesome tomorrow….