Tips and Thoughts for Acting Civilized Online

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I am always on the hunt for really good information online.

I particularly love an article on blogging that includes tips on attracting readers, creating cool content, and all the bells and whistles that can help my blog be the best it can be.

I am heading for the “two-decades” mark as a blogger, and over the years, I have witnessed my share of cat-fights and questionable behavior. Things are a bit better these days, but I still see some pretty crazy (and mean) stuff on social media and in comment boxes. So, as a blogger who’s the been-around-the-block, here’s my advice on what to NOT do as a blogger. Enjoy.

Don’t be a Blogger Behaving Badly.

#1-Think Before You Click Publish. I think as bloggers we have a certain amount of responsibility to have integrity and behave like civilized adults.  I don’t recommend EVER blogging out of anger. Some people call it “venting” but honestly, if it’s something you wouldn’t say to someone’s face in real life, then it has no place on the WWW.

#2-Leave Family Out of It (unless its funny as hell and they are OK with you sharing it). I recommend never blogging unkindly about your family and that includes Monster-In-Laws, Frenemies, evil twin sisters, and Deadbeat Dads. Those discussions are best left in Draft or off the Internet completely. Once you release something into the “wild” of cyberspace, this is no going back. Baby, it’s out there. FOREVER.

#3-Be a Good Human. As my Dad used to say, “You don’t get where you want in life by stepping on the heads of others.” Build others up as opposed to tearing them down. If people have helped and supported your blogging efforts, return the favor whenever possible.

#4-BE NICE. As one of my entrepreneurial buddies said, “Be nice with a side order of Be Nice.” Even if you don’t agree with what is being said, refrain from joining the brew-ha-ha and smack talking. Never doubt the fact that potential clients could be watching your online behavior and judging you accordingly.

#5-Practice the “All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned In Kindergarten” theory.

• Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
• Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
• And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned-LOOK.

#6- Bloggers/People Behaving Badly (also known as Trolls) exist online. A troll is a person who will leave nasty comments and do their best to badger you into a fight. If you should ever have the unfortunate instance to be on the receiving end of a Blogger Behaving Badly, my advice to you is…”Don’t Feed the Trolls.” Don’t buy into their bad behavior by responding, fighting back, or trying to sway their opinion.

Just quietly delete and BLOCK.

Tips and Thoughts for Acting Civilized Online

#7- Stay In Your Lane. Never forget that blogging and social media is meant to be just that: SOCIAL. If you don’t like what you see or read, keep scrolling or hit the back button. It’s not your job to school someone on your perception of “better” or “correct.”

For me, my blog is a place for ME. It’s a place for my thoughts, my wisdom, my encouragement, my victories, and my disasters. Yes, I like pushing the envelope and bit by using naughty words cloaked in symbols like dumb@ss or holysh*t and talking about things that other bloggers don’t like Goldfish disasters and yoga-carpet-sniffing . But there’s no one getting hurt but me (if even that).

I write what I choose based on what I feel fit to share about my life and parenting and that may include head lice, thigh rub, and boob sweat. If that’s not your jam, that’s okay. I won’t be hurt if you delete, block, unfriend, unfollow, and just ignore me. We all have those beautiful options.

#8- Don’t Write only to “out” people. There are plenty of folks doing and sharing…interesting…things online. Whether I agree or understand is irrelevant. As long as the party in question is not hurting themselves or others, I practice the “you do YOU” philosophy and just keep living my own life.

#9-Avoid labeling or diagnosing based on perception. Everyone is fighting their own personal battles and kindness is the only answer in most cases.

#10-Before judging someone or a situation, work to understand. Ask what, where, when, and why. Working to understand takes time, but it’s also a great way to expand our thinking and learn new things.

#11- Granting Grace- We’ve ALL done stupid things or acting in a less-than-flattering way. That doesn’t mean we are automatically bad people. The majority of people in the world are Good People who occasionally make Bad Decisions.

So the bottom line is; don’t unleash your fury (in a hateful and slanderous way) on others on your blog. There is a fine line between ripping someone to shreds and blogging frustration of life. Yes, there are instances where wrongs need to be righted and readers need to be told a tale with a lesson. You’ll know when those times are, but choose them wisely.

So does this all strike a chord with you? Have you ever taken down one of your posts/stories because of complaints, upset readers, or just a bad gut feeling? Please share. I’d love to know your story!

One More Thing

If your dream in the coming year is to bring a story to light, I can help! As a Non-Fiction Ghostwriter and Book Shepherd I know that many, many people have at least one story inside of them. Maybe it’s a memoir filled with the knowledge that came from a lifelong journey through tough times. Maybe it is a how-to book that reflects something you are passionate about, like homeschooling, rescuing animals, and helping small business owners run their shops better. Maybe you are a survivor and have many lessons to teach and share. The common thread all of these scenarios have is that, no matter what stage of life you are in, it’s never too late (or early) to share your story with the world in the form of a published book.