** Guest Post from Hiking is for Hippies Summer is such an amazing time for sand and water fun. In my hometown area, we are “beach regulars.” HOWEVER, it bugs me to NO END how some of the users of the public beach seem to forget the “public” part…as in…”hey, I need to use this space… Read More Nikki’s Rules for the Beach-The Sh*t People Do at The Beach that Makes me INSANE.
MY PERFECT DAY *I leave my house calmly, confidently, freshly showered, and on time…with BOTH earrings in my ears. Reality: I leave the house in my typical Navy Seal Covert Operation style hoping to avoid 15 minutes of snot and bawling (the kids-not me). My appearance is lightly askew, I am running 5… Read More My Perfect Day-The Fantasy Thoughts of a Work At Home Mom
We celebrate the Mother’s Day to show honor and respect to one of the most influential persons in our lives. Our Moms are there through thick and thin, sharing all joy and sorrows. But ya know, here at Franticmommy, we think this occasion of Mother’s Day would become a heckuva lot more fun if we… Read More Mother’s Day Quotes and Wisdoms
Apparently Mother Nature is REALLY pissed at Father Time. It’s April 20th here and we are experiencing some not-so-normal weather. Are you effin KIDDING me??!! Last year at this time I vaguely recall warm temps, sun, and GRASS. WTF? And this is not a fluke. This incessant snow and storms has been going on since… Read More Just Another Saturday in Minnesota: My Thoughts of Winter in Pictures
I love reading signs. There’s some good ones out there. Some are downright FUNNY…. (you don’t have to tell me twice) Some are clever. With a side order of really.Good.Message (I’m thinking this message should be standard issue for all teenage drivers) Some are sooooo clever, and 100% MINNESOTAN Then there’s the ones that make… Read More Yo Baby, What’s Your Sign?
Madame Franticmommy-Predictor of the Future, at your service. I Predict in 20 Years…… In 20 years the Suleman Octuplets (Oct0Mom’s spawn) will have their own reality TV show called Suleman Rules. This show will showcase their trials and tribulations of trying to launch 8 acting careers while juggling a home life that includes taking turns… Read More Madame Franticmommy: Predictions for Octomom, Lance Armstrong & More
It started as a great day I woke up full of ambition and big plans. I wanted to try three new recipes and a new craft. Little did I know, the Creativity Gods were not aligning with me. The ill-fated craft was Squid in a Bottle. I think the actually directions called it a… Read More The Day I Sucked at EVERYTHING
Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings…. We simply continue to fly …….. on a broomstick….. We are flexible like that. Please share!0
I’m SO glad the world did not end. WHEW! I still have so many unanswered questions! I never found out Who Let The Dogs Out, the way to get to Sesame Street, why Dora doesn’t just use Google maps, why we don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery.” I never found out why a… Read More Thank Goodness The World Didn’t End….
Sara (6 years old):“Mommy, what does my name mean?” Me: “It means ‘beautiful girl.“ Jacob (piping up from the couch): “So, what does my name mean?” Me: “Your name means ‘truthful.‘” *pause* “What does your name mean, Mom?“ Me: “It means ‘super intelligent‘ and ‘all-knowing.‘” *pause* “Are you sure it doesn’t mean “terrible beast?“ “..or… Read More Mommy, What Does My Name Mean?
As you may remember quite some time ago, we bought some pet fish. They were meant to be “starter pets” for nagging children who were begging for a pet, yet could barely wipe their own butts. We have since graduated to an furry puppy dog named Fred and three reptiles that we love dearly and… Read More Epic Pet Fail | My Tale of a Fish Emergency in the Wal-Mart Express Lane
Crap goes missing in my house All.The.Time. I personally think it’s the Little Humans who reside with me who move stuff, examine stuff, or see stuff and think “oh! that would make a great alligator trap!”…….but I also have a sneaking suspicion it’s my own leaky memory. The bottom line is, someone needs to… Read More Took-It Fairies, Thistles, and Things That Get Lost In the Woods