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I have this friend.

She’s amazing and talented…but the only one who doesn’t see that is her. But she will find her way back because I will remind her often how great she is.

I have soooo been there before. Not that I think I am “all that” now…but I do have hope and excitement for the potential I have now in life.

Around that same time that I felt invisible I also succummed to what I now call a bad case of “Stinkin Thinkin.”

Anxiety Sucks | What is Stinkin Thinkin

Anxiety Sucks. And with Anxiety comes Stinkin Thinkin, which those of us with anxiety know is an internal plea for reassurance. A subliminal ask (in the form of frustrated, whiny comments) for someone, anyone, to tell us we are not nuts and it will be OK. Some who fall into this trap are chronic whiners….most are not. They are people who are so sad and so low, they are fighting to see any shred of light in their life.

Unfortunately, the mindset of cultivating Stinkin Thinkin is a lot like a car being stuck in the mud. We spin and spin, but nothing changes until WE make a change (call a tow truck or phone a friend for help.) This “nothing good happens to me” mindset also becomes like a scratch in a record and it doesn’t take much to get our needle stuck in a groove.

I’ve been there and I know three things will ultimately happen:

People will get fed up with your Stinkin Thinkin and stop listening. Stop reassuring.
You will only sink yourself DEEPER into the quagmire of hell that is depression.
You start dragging others down with you (usually the ones closest to you).

It’s at this point you need to put on your Big Girl and Big Boy Panties and take action for yourself. Throw your own self a buoy. Make a call. Go see a doctor. Ask.For.Help.

Anxiety Sucks | Reasons to reverse your Stinkin Thinkin patterns

Here’s the woo-woo part..#4-because the Universe has no sense of humor. Whether you believe in the fact that there is something more powerful than ourselves guiding our lives is irrelevant. What is relevant is that the “garbage in-garbage out” theory is real. You are indeed what you think.

Not long ago I read an awesome book where a salty old sailor was giving advice to a teen who had a pretty crappy view of herself (and a crappy life as a result).

“My dear, what you over yourself, you will become. You mustn’t say {bad things}about your given body. Do you not know that your biggest battle is in your thoughts?”

TRUTH.

OK, back to the Universe and Stinkin Thinkin. This is what I mean when I say the Universe has no sense of humor:

If you always say (out loud or to yourself) All I ever have is bad luck.…the Universe hears I want bad luck.

If you always say (out loud or to yourself) I have no friends...the Universe hears I don’t want friends.

If you always say (out loud or to yourself) I never have any money…the Universe will grant your wish.

I am going to venture a little deeper into to WooWooLand here and share this excerpt from the book The Secret. Honestly, when this book first came out in 2006 I thought it was a lot of B.S.

Now, 11 years later I am re-reading this because DAMN….this book is pretty frickin accurate.

It is the law that determines the complete order in the Universe,
every moment of your life, and every single thing you experience
in your life. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are, the
law of attraction is forming your entire life experience, and this all-powerful
law is doing that through your thoughts. You are the one
who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through
your thoughts

Please don’t think that instantly magic fairy dust will burst from your buttocks and life will be dandy if you stop thinking negatively and start thinking more positively. But I can promise you that a shift WILL happen. And it starts with the re-framing of how you view your world.

Try this trick (it’s an easy one, I swear) to get your Stinkin Thinkin rewired and your life back on a more positive note. EVERY NIGHT write down THREE things you are grateful for. If you want to write more than 3, please do! Some days your list will look glorious and impressive and other days your gratitude list of 3 will include little victories like., “I didn’t lose my shit today” or “I made a killer cup of coffee this morning.” Either way, it’s all good.

If you start focusing on the positive, more good will appear. I promise. The positive is always there, we just get lost in the fog sometimes.

Side Note: If you are an anxiety sufferer (I am…my 11-year-old is as well) don’t accept feeling shitty as “that’s just the way my life is.” Don’t let yourself think that continuing to sink is OK. Ask for help. Get help. Talk to someone. Read books on the subject. Don’t let the Darkness win. Power through it…just don’t isolate or try to do it alone.